The Vlog

What is with these telemarketers??

The other day, I got a call from a telemarketer (who, I later learned was an Airtel telemarketer). When I picked up the call, the only thing I heard was [translated] “Is this Vivek Hegde, do you have a Vodafone Billing Account?”. Our office has very poor network coverage. And as usual any call picked up inside the office gets dropped too quickly. This call dropped right after he said the above. I thought that was the end of it. I din’t know who he was or what he called for. But I didn’t really care - I knew he was some silly telemarketer.

A couple of hours later, while I was standing outside ‘chatting’ with colleagues, I got another call. This guy asks me “Sir, did you speak to someone earlier today about an Airtel Billing card”. WTF? I told him I did no such thing, and why on earth would I want an Airtel connection while I still have my Vodafone connection. This guy just “Okay” and let me be.

Another half hour or so later, I got another call. This time, the guy on the other end says…

Him: “Sir I need some clarification on your address”
WTF again!!
Me: “What address, what is this regarding?”
Him: “Sir, you had spoken to me to come meet you regarding a new Airtel phone connection”
Me: “WTF, I did no such thing. I never spoke to anyone. I already have a phone connection, why would I need another one”
Him: “No, you spoke to me in the morning. You told me to come meet you, since you wanted a new connection.”
Me: “Balls, I did no such thing. What’s the address you have anyway?”
Him: [ Mentions some vague address ]
Me: “I don’t know who’s address that is, I don’t know where that is, I don’t even work/live there. You’re just talking nonsense.”
Him: [A little agitated now] “What do you mean sir, you asked me to come here. THis is your address. I have come so far for this. Why are you now saying you don’t want a card”
Me: “If you think that is my address, go right inside, and sell me all your Airtel cards”
Him: “What?”
Me: Hung up the phone

What I don’t comprehend from the situation:
1) How did they get my number?
2) How did they know my name?
3) How did they know I had a Vodafone Billing Connection?
4) What makes them think I would need an Airtel connection when I already have a connection?
And the show stealer…
5) How in the world did he get that address, when I did not even speak to him. Some entity between me and him continued to talk to him while the first call was dropped, and gave him some ghostly address. Maybe someone from beyond the grave wanted him to get to that address with a whole load of Airtel forms, you know, those “Last wish unfulfilled” things. He needed to get an Airtel connection just before he passed away, and now he can’t pass through to the other side till he gets one.

How silly can telemarketers get? Or rather, how desperate??